Simon Travaglia

Simon Travaglia

• It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BOFH, however, does have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device—it's so much more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up backups too, so it can't be all bad can it? Of course not....Meantime backups have finished in record time, 2.03 seconds. Modern technology is wonderful, isn't it?

• "Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain ??? In my day, you didn't need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you turned your computer on, the whole building darkened!"

• "Is their network faulty?" "No, it's more of a protocol problem." "What, protocol as in TCP/IP and stuff?" "No, more like protocol as in 'When Simon asks to be reimbursed for some technical manuals, reimburse him straight away'."

• "THREE DAYS OFF TO BROWSE PORN!" the PFY cries. "I LOVE MY JOB!" "I think you're missing the point," I respond. "We're trying to find sites that would be used to promote the company, which means that you'll be grading sites on the following criteria: The number of visitors; Originality and breadth of content; Specialist Content and quantity of content. Once you've rated the sites on these scales you would TELL ME ABOUT IT TOO BECAUSE I LOVE MY JOB AS WELL!!!!"

• Some days I just look at my Inbox and feel uninspired. Stacked ahead of me are the dull and mundane tasks that'd bore anyone with an IQ higher than their pants size. You know the sort of thing: "Can you install a printer driver on the server?", "Can we get more disk on the Homeshare machine?" etc. So, at times like this, I like to take solace in something comforting. >clickety..< >tap< >tap!< ... >rustle< >tap!< >tap!< "Bugger!" >tap< >tap< >TAP!< >BASH!< "What is it?" the PFY asks. >BASH< >BASH!< >BASH!!!< "The bloody VMS machine has crashed!"