Real Genius

Chris Knight

• "Because if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes." (being asked why he's wearing bouncy-eyes on his head)
• "Do you mind if I name my first child after you? 'Dipshit Knight' has a nice ring to it."
• "Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for 'toy.'"
• Chris Knight: Kent put his name on his license plate.
  Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
  Chris Knight: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

Professor Hathaway

• Old Lady at Science Fair: "Tell me, what's Mr. Einstein really like?
  Professor Hathaway: Dead.

Jordan

• I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roomate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, 'cause I'm just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?