Life of Brian

• "But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

• "Nobody is to stone anybody until I blow this whistle. Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say Jehovah." [Speaker is stoned]

• "I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few."

• "Now you listen here! He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"

• [Blind man]: "It's a miracle! Before I was blind but now I can see!" [Falls into a hole]

• "There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no messiah."

• "What are you doing creeping round a cowshed at 2 O'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me."

• [Brian, to a crowd:] "You are all individuals!" [Crowd] "YES YES WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!" [Lone voice in the crowd:] "I'm not." [Person next to him]: "SHH!"

• "I'm Brian, and so is my wife!"

• "Anybody here who does not want to be crucifed, raise their hand now...that's what I thought." [Everybody is crucified so nobody can raise his hand.]

• "Always look on the bright side of life."