GROUCHO MARX QUOTES Quicklyfind - Quotes on just about anything!
Attributed "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." "Room service? Send up a larger room." "Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." "A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five." "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it." "Ice Water? Get some onions - that'll make your eyes water!" "You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?" "You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it." "A man's only as old as the woman he feels." "Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?" "Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse." "I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book." "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." "If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you." "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." "It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all." "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped." "Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did." "Women should be obscene and not heard." "Time wounds all heels." "Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!" "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." "As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife." "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." "Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." "The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made." "I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. "