George Bernard Shaw

Caesar and Cleopatra (1898)

• Hail, Sphinx: salutation from Julius Caesar! I have wandered in many lands, seeking the lost regions from which my birth into this world exiled me, and the company of creatures such as I myself. I have found flocks and pastures, men and cities, but no other Caesar, no air native to me, no man kindred to me, none who can do my day's deed, and think my night's thought.

• My way hither was the way of destiny; for I am he of whose genius you are the symbol: part brute, part woman, and part God— nothing of man in me at all. Have I read your riddle, Sphinx?

• THEODOTUS. Caesar: you are a stranger here, and not conversant with our laws. The kings and queens of Egypt may not marry except with their own royal blood. Ptolemy and Cleopatra are born king and consort just as they are born brother and sister.
  BRITANNUS (shocked). Caesar: this is not proper.
  THEODOTUS (outraged). How!
  CAESAR (recovering his self-possession). Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

• Again, there is the illusion of "increased command over Nature," meaning that cotton is cheap and that ten miles of country road on a bicycle have replaced four on foot. But even if man's increased command over Nature included any increased command over himself (the only sort of command relevant to his evolution into a higher being), the fact remains that it is only by running away from the increased command over Nature to country places where Nature is still in primitive command over Man that he can recover from the effects of the smoke, the stench, the foul air, the overcrowding, the racket, the ugliness, the dirt which the cheap cotton costs us.
  • Notes to the play. Contributor's comment: I think if the words "cotton", "bicycle" and "foot" are replaced by "computers", "bike" and "car", then this perfectly fits in 21st century.

Man and Superman (1903)

• "The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is." (Act 1)

• "Hell is full of musical amateurs. Music is the brandy of the damned." (Act 3)

• "An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable." (Act 3)

• "What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?" (Act 3)

Appendix to Man and Superman: Maxims for Revolutionists

• "Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (1)

• "Never resist temptation: prove all things: hold fast that which is good." (2)

• "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (25)

• "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches" (36)

• " You cannot believe in honor until you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright: you are the window through which you must see the world. (69)

• "What a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts." (84)

• "The difference between the shallowest routineer and the deepest thinker appears, to the latter, trifling; to the former, infinite." (100)

• In an ugly and unhappy world the richest man can purchase nothing but ugliness and unhappiness. (110)

• "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." (124)

• "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." ( 127)

• "Do not mistake your objection to defeat for an objection to fighting, your objection to being a slave for an objection to slavery, your objection to not being as rich as your neighbor for an objection to poverty. The cowardly, the insubordinate, and the envious share your objections." (162)

The Apple Cart (1928)

• Our natural dispositions may be good; but we have been badly brought up, and are full of anti-social personal ambitions and prejudices and snobberies. Had we not better teach our children to be better citizens than ourselves? We are not doing that at present. The Russians ARE. That is my last word. Think over it.
  • Preface

Attributed

• "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

• "All great truths begin as blasphemies."

• "Assassination is the extreme form of censorship."

• "'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability."

• "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it."

• "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality."

• "The customs of your tribe are not laws of nature."
  • A variant that seems to be derived from a statement in Antony and Cleopatra

• "The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier."

• "The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school."

• "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."

• "I often quote myself. I find it adds spice to the conversation."

• "The road to ignorance is paved with good editions."

• "You must not suppose, because I am a man of letters, that I never tried to earn an honest living."

• "If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas."

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