DOUGLAS ADAMS QUOTES Quicklyfind - Quotes on just about anything!
(1952 - 2001) comic General "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job." "He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." Source: "Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner." Source: (radio) "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." Source: (Page 9, Chapter 1 - Lines 2 & 3.) "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." "Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." Source: in "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't." Source: (radio) "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. ... There is another theory which states that this has already happened." Source: (Pages 7 & 8, the leaf before Chapter 1.) "Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game." "First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure." "Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of." Source: in "[Trillian] is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeforms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting." , chapter 31 "...and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul." chapter 1; became one of Adams' book titles "Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort." Source , Chapter 1 "It was a battered yellow Citroen 2CV which had had one careful owner but also three suicidally reckless ones." Source , Chapter 11 "We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty" Source: (radio) Time "It takes an awful long time to not write a book." "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." () "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." (The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul) "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." Source: (radio) "This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays" Source: in "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." Source: in Experience "You live and learn. At any rate, you live." "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." Source: Last Chance to See Common Sense "The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79." Source: Dreams "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." Source: Politicians "The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." Source: "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." Source: Macintosh "I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: 'Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'" "The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%." Security "The thing he realized about the windows was this: because they had been converted into openable windows after they had first been designed to be impregnable, they were, in fact, much less secure than if they had been designed as openable windows in the first place." Source: The Meaning of Liff Co-written with John Lloyd "ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him." "CLIXBY (adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative." See: list of people by name
General "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job." "He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." Source: "Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner." Source: (radio) "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." Source: (Page 9, Chapter 1 - Lines 2 & 3.) "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." "Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." Source: in "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't." Source: (radio) "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. ... There is another theory which states that this has already happened." Source: (Pages 7 & 8, the leaf before Chapter 1.) "Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game." "First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure." "Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of." Source: in "[Trillian] is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeforms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting." , chapter 31 "...and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul." chapter 1; became one of Adams' book titles "Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort." Source , Chapter 1 "It was a battered yellow Citroen 2CV which had had one careful owner but also three suicidally reckless ones." Source , Chapter 11 "We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty" Source: (radio) Time "It takes an awful long time to not write a book." "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." () "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." (The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul) "In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." Source: (radio) "This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays" Source: in "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." Source: in Experience "You live and learn. At any rate, you live." "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." Source: Last Chance to See Common Sense "The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79." Source: Dreams "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." Source: Politicians "The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." Source: "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." Source: Macintosh "I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: 'Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'" "The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%." Security "The thing he realized about the windows was this: because they had been converted into openable windows after they had first been designed to be impregnable, they were, in fact, much less secure than if they had been designed as openable windows in the first place." Source: The Meaning of Liff Co-written with John Lloyd "ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him." "CLIXBY (adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative." See: list of people by name
Co-written with John Lloyd