DAVE BARRY QUOTES Quicklyfind - Quotes on just about anything!
(born 1947) and Verified Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath. Source: Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. Source: The Taming of the Screw The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes. Source: The Taming of the Screw Attributed Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to. Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Winter's here, and you feel lousy: You're coughing and sneezing; your muscles ache; your nose is an active mucus volcano. These symptoms -- so familiar at this time of year -- can mean only one thing: Tiny fanged snails are eating your brain. Everybody wins in chess! See: list of people by name
Verified Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath. Source: Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. Source: The Taming of the Screw The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes. Source: The Taming of the Screw Attributed Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to. Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Winter's here, and you feel lousy: You're coughing and sneezing; your muscles ache; your nose is an active mucus volcano. These symptoms -- so familiar at this time of year -- can mean only one thing: Tiny fanged snails are eating your brain. Everybody wins in chess! See: list of people by name